Why No One Sees Your Most Important Wins (But They Matter the Most)

Hi friend,

I used to think personal growth was about doing more in the outside world.

• More achievements.

• More recognition.

• More visible success.

But the more I reflect, especially while re-reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the more I realize how wrong that framing is.

Stephen Covey introduces a powerful concept early in the book: the idea that true, lasting change starts from within. He calls it the journey of private victories before public victories. It’s one of those ideas that sounds simple at first, but the more you sit with it, the more it challenges the way you think about your goals, your habits, and even your sense of self.

Covey divides the 7 habits into two categories. The first three habits are what he calls “private victories.”

These are the invisible wins that no one applauds you for. Waking up early when no one’s watching. Sticking to your values when it’s easier to go along. Taking responsibility instead of blaming others.

Habit 1 is about being proactive. Choosing your response. Owning your actions.

Habit 2 is about beginning with the end in mind. Having a vision for your life that guides your daily choices.

Habit 3 is about putting first things first. Prioritizing what matters, even if it’s uncomfortable or unpopular.

When I think about the times in my life where I felt the most aligned, the most in control, the most grounded, they all came from these private victories. Not from praise. Not from finishing a project or crossing a finish line. But from doing the right thing for myself, even when nobody else knew.

I remember last year when I set a clear goal to run the Istanbul Marathon. That was a public victory in the end, sure. But the real transformation came months before, when I woke up at 5:30 to run, even when it was cold. When I planned my day around my training. When I didn’t hit snooze. Those quiet wins built the confidence that carried me through 42 kilometers.

In contrast, Covey’s public victories, the habits of relationship, teamwork, leadership, come only after those private foundations are strong. It’s tempting to skip ahead. We all want the results, the impact, the recognition. But without the inner work, it never lasts.

• If you want to be trusted, you have to be trustworthy.

• If you want to lead others, you first have to lead yourself.

• If you want to be effective in public, you need to be disciplined in private.

This is what Covey means when he says that success is not a matter of personality or image, but of character.

And that character is formed one small, consistent habit at a time.

So here’s my question for you today:

What’s one private habit you can strengthen this week?

• It could be as small as journaling every night before bed.

• Or putting your phone in another room when you’re with your family.

• Or actually sticking to the bedtime you set for yourself.

It doesn’t have to be impressive. It just needs to be real.

Because the habit you practice when no one is watching is the one that shapes who you become when everyone is.

If this reflection resonates with you, you might enjoy my free 5-day email course on habit-building. I break down lessons from five of my favorite books, including The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and show you how to turn big ideas into small, daily actions.

You can sign up here: books.dailyhabits.blog

And if someone forwarded you this email, you can get your own copy of Daily Habits delivered to your inbox by subscribing here: dailyhabits.blog

Let’s keep building private victories; quietly, consistently, and together.

Selim

www.selimuysal.net